A Question On Girls’ Morality - Youth Blog of India -
“Are you pure?” asked the guy who came to see Seema for marriage. “Pure????” Seema couldn’t get his question. “Pure as in untouched?” he clarified. Seema now understood what he wanted to ask. “What are you looking for a girl to marry or ghee?” she replied agitated by such a question. He was shocked at such a reply, but before he could say anything. Seema continued, “Well you can say if there was an exam about ‘purity’ I wouldn’t top it!” His family left. Next day he rang up Seema’s dad and told him that he cannot marry Seema as she is a girl with low morals. Bang on!
Welcome to the progressive India where we claim to be modern people but still make Virginity a base to check a girl’s morals or her capability to become a good wife. Today when we claim that women have an equal status in the society with that of men, we still are under the orthodox views of using a white bed sheet on the first night of marriage just to check the bride’s virginity!!! The guy may himself have slept with number of girls but he wants a “pure”, “untouched” girl as a wife. Why?
Answer- just to satisfy his male ego that the girl he is going to spend his life with has been and will be only his “possession”. If today a girl loses her virginity with a guy she loves truly but the guy turns out to be a cheat then she is tagged as a “slut”, “characterless girl” ; MIND YOU these being the most decent words I can pen down ,else there are a million more worse words in our mother tongue vocabulary. I ask what is the mistake of the girl? She loved a guy? She slept with someone she thought she would marry? Or, she now has lost her purity which would satisfy her to-be husband’s male ego and make him believe that she is fit to be his wife! And again no answers I could get! I completely support the fact that we Indians should not give up on our morals and accept everything that westernisation gives us but I wonder how can a biological wall in the girl’s body by breaking decide the level of her morals? I mean Seema could have been a great wife, she was marrying the guy her parents chose, maybe she had a bad past… But all that was seen was that she wasn’t pure! L And I am forced to wonder that what would happen to those rape victims?
Who would marr those girls? Moreover a girl from a sports background, has always been told by those orthodox distant relatives to Quit it, why? because playing may result in breakage of the “moral wall”!! “ “Urggghhh ”, that’s what I have always thought after hearing that!! Yes, I am also a girl, an Indian girl, who values her morals, for whom her “izzat” is priceless, who has always dreamt of her “raajkumar” coming on a white horse to marry her, and who has always planned her wedding dress! But I am also a girl who belongs to the globalized world, interacts with the opposite sex, loves, has break ups, overcomes them and smiles again and no one has a right to tag me any thing for that reason! I just request you that next time you go looking for a girl for marriage, search for a true heart and not something like “pure ghee”, because she ‘s gonna be your life partner and not your meal to satisfy your hunger of ego.
When you look at a beautiful girl coming dressed in a red lehanga leaving her world behind, to become a part of your world, accept her, make her life a bed of roses rather than testing her loyalty by making her lay down on a bed with white bed sheet because true love will make your marriage successful, her “purity” won’t.
“Are you pure?” asked the guy who came to see Seema for marriage. “Pure????” Seema couldn’t get his question. “Pure as in untouched?” he clarified. Seema now understood what he wanted to ask. “What are you looking for a girl to marry or ghee?” she replied agitated by such a question. He was shocked at such a reply, but before he could say anything. Seema continued, “Well you can say if there was an exam about ‘purity’ I wouldn’t top it!” His family left. Next day he rang up Seema’s dad and told him that he cannot marry Seema as she is a girl with low morals. Bang on!
Welcome to the progressive India where we claim to be modern people but still make Virginity a base to check a girl’s morals or her capability to become a good wife. Today when we claim that women have an equal status in the society with that of men, we still are under the orthodox views of using a white bed sheet on the first night of marriage just to check the bride’s virginity!!! The guy may himself have slept with number of girls but he wants a “pure”, “untouched” girl as a wife. Why?
Answer- just to satisfy his male ego that the girl he is going to spend his life with has been and will be only his “possession”. If today a girl loses her virginity with a guy she loves truly but the guy turns out to be a cheat then she is tagged as a “slut”, “characterless girl” ; MIND YOU these being the most decent words I can pen down ,else there are a million more worse words in our mother tongue vocabulary. I ask what is the mistake of the girl? She loved a guy? She slept with someone she thought she would marry? Or, she now has lost her purity which would satisfy her to-be husband’s male ego and make him believe that she is fit to be his wife! And again no answers I could get! I completely support the fact that we Indians should not give up on our morals and accept everything that westernisation gives us but I wonder how can a biological wall in the girl’s body by breaking decide the level of her morals? I mean Seema could have been a great wife, she was marrying the guy her parents chose, maybe she had a bad past… But all that was seen was that she wasn’t pure! L And I am forced to wonder that what would happen to those rape victims?
Who would marr those girls? Moreover a girl from a sports background, has always been told by those orthodox distant relatives to Quit it, why? because playing may result in breakage of the “moral wall”!! “ “Urggghhh ”, that’s what I have always thought after hearing that!! Yes, I am also a girl, an Indian girl, who values her morals, for whom her “izzat” is priceless, who has always dreamt of her “raajkumar” coming on a white horse to marry her, and who has always planned her wedding dress! But I am also a girl who belongs to the globalized world, interacts with the opposite sex, loves, has break ups, overcomes them and smiles again and no one has a right to tag me any thing for that reason! I just request you that next time you go looking for a girl for marriage, search for a true heart and not something like “pure ghee”, because she ‘s gonna be your life partner and not your meal to satisfy your hunger of ego.
When you look at a beautiful girl coming dressed in a red lehanga leaving her world behind, to become a part of your world, accept her, make her life a bed of roses rather than testing her loyalty by making her lay down on a bed with white bed sheet because true love will make your marriage successful, her “purity” won’t.